some good, some bad...but there's hope

All week I've been looking forward to posting some photographs of my classroom, but unfortunately I received some bad news today. Because of low enrollment, {the story of my life for the last 3 years as I've been trying to secure a teaching position} I'll likely become "displaced" at some point next week. Needless to say, I'm pretty disappointed. All sorts of thoughts are going through my head right now...mostly though, doubts of my decision to switch careers from advertising/event marketing to teaching. What's confusing is the passion I think I have for education. But really, how do I know if it's my passion when I've not really been given an opportunity? The glimmer of hope is that I've signed a contract, so I guess that means the district has to try to place me at another school. Here's my question: with enrollment at an all time low, there must be other teachers in my situation. How can there possibly be enough students for all the displaced teachers? Of course, my questions couldn't be answered today. When will they be answered? On Monday...my 30th birthday. Let me take you back to last year...Rob proposed on Sunday, September 10th (my 29th birthday) and on Monday, September 11th, I was let go from a teaching position. So I've already been through this experience and I know I'll wake up tomorrow with a spirit that will push me to continue pursuing my dream to teach. Tonight though, I'm sad and a little teary-eyed. I was really, really looking forward to working at this particular middle school in 'da hood of the LBC. The kids (can't call them "mine" anymore) are sweet and the staff is supportive. One of the teachers is even an original "Freedom Writer" - how freakin' cool would it have been to work along side her? I know one day I am going to be a great teacher...my chance just hasn't come yet.

Here's what would have been my classroom...

My students were going to bring in some of their "Favorite Things!"

The "Favorite Things!" wall

The front of the classroom
My wonderful husband helping with last minute fixes

The cookies I made the night before the 1st day of school for the janitorial staff (they have been incredibly helpful)

As I've been writing, deleting, and writing again, I keep thinking of the little boy that was sent to my class at the end of the school day this afternoon. This middle school has a "buddy" system for teachers. When a student is being super disruptive, we have an agreement that before we send the student to the office, we send them to another classroom so both the teacher and the student can "cool-off". This little boy literally stormed into my classroom yelling, "I know a lot about fire and guns. I'm going to use guns to burn the school down." Well, yes, technically, this is a threat, but this is also a special day class student with some emotional disorders. At first, I was pretty darn freaked out and wasn't sure what to do. This poor kid was so angry he had tears in his eyes and was shaking. He was so frustrated that he couldn't get out what he needed to say. I let him talk and he calmed down after a couple minutes. Eventually we started talking about good and bad choices and what to do next time he's getting threatened at school - verbally or physically (which both happened today). I asked him why he didn't tell a teacher or another adult what happened. He told me that his mom told him that he should never interrupt an adult when it looks like they are busy doing something important. That's why he didn't say anything earlier - every time he saw a teacher or an adult after the incident, to this little boy, it looked like they were busy doing something important. I don't know if this little kid will actually tell someone next time, but if anything, I hope I drilled in his head this afternoon that our jobs as teachers are to help students, all the time, even if it looks like we are busy doing something "important". This is why I love teaching. I really hope I'm given an opportunity soon...